yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
