i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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