Are we in a gay sports bar?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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