either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
