It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
