and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
MIDGETS
????
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
