Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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