Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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