dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
