Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
