i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
