Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize