so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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