So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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