he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Mom said you looked used
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
