Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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