If i come over, it means nothing
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
