hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
