It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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