I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
