u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
