my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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