Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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