I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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