Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You can't just leave with hair like that
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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