I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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