I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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