24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
