i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize