I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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