my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
