So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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