So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
