Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
