I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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