I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
