marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
