Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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