He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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