Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
