Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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