would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
