so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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