So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
