maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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