i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
