Banned from zoo.
Again?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
