now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
