1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
