I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
no you cant smoke seaweed
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
