When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize