no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
