I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
