Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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