We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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