and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I intend to get homeless drunk
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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