i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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