we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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