my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
