Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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