Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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