Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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