birth control should be required to get into college
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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