there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
pray to the hookup gods
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
