So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
